What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Randomize
