shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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