he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
