also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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