Buhtt sex?
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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