I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Moan for me like Helen Keller
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
