I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
