It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
two words...techno handjob
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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