Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Randomize
