...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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