I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
My dick has a subreddit
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
