we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
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