wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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