just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
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