the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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