she looked like the bat from fern gully.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
this must be what syphilis tastes like
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
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