I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
