he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
