Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
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