no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
