She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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