A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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