she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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