to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
