there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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