Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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