It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
