I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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