"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Randomize
