thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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