Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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