just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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