i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
