I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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