I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
