the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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