he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
