I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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