a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
