so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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