"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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