yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
It all started with a game of naked twister.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize
