the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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