You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Randomize
