the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
