this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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