is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
