are you still at the devil's house?
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
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Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
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