arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
