He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
