exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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