Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
