god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I sprained my soul last night
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
You made out with two different species that night
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize