We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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