We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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