Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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