She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
