Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
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